Thursday, July 19, 2012

I am speaking Japanese, I really think so..

 "Konnichiwa, two tuna tataki, an octopus and a lemonade please. Arigato.”  That is a direct quote from the Tings. Tingu loves sashimi.



Naively, B and I were excited to see if the kids would love sushi as much as we do. We didn’t realize what we were creating. Tings wakes up with a spring in his step when he knows it is sushi night. The waitresses at the Japanese restaurant we frequent are desperate to put him on youtube. We could lease a nice car for the same cost as our sushi bill over the last month. 


 For being such an animal enthusiast, surprisingly Tingu is quite the carnivore.  He explains his way out of this by discussing the ‘Circle of life’ (Go Disney). He shows little remorse for the gazelle being drowned by a crocodile, but displays high degrees of empathy for the workers at Publix who may lose their jobs due to the new super Kroger marketplace that was built across the street. When T & I are together we two bleeding hearts support Publix.

And based on the Tingu’s consumption rates, I think we make a impactful contribution to their bottom lines. I have heard stories from my Dad of how he ate 22 rotlis at one sitting and at 15, Tingu’s Uncle T, could polish off a 64oz T-bone with appetizers, sides, dessert and a whiskey. These family traits have both filtered through in a very dominant fashion on the Tingu.

He can easily eat an adult size portion of pasta, then a fruit, share a yogurt with Huns, have a popsicle, and finish off with a jam sandwich and a few glasses of milk. It is incredible and slightly worrying. Many things about the suburbs started to make sense after I had children. I have just reached the suburban enlightenment stage where I understand the beauty of a buffet. Not saying you will convince me to have a meal at the Golden Corral but I can understand the premise of that franchise.

Hunie on the other hand – well let’s say his new official nickname is “Snacks”. He highly prefers grazing to actual meals. The anthesis of French parenting but since I married an Englishman, I think that is considered all good. As for the Indian side, the motto is any food is good food – even when it is florescent orange, fried sugar (yum, Galabi!)

Snaklu a.k.a Hunie looking awfully guilty while attempting to hide a massive bag of marshmellows! He asked for just ten million pieces please.

Even Tingu’s new fish ‘Guppy’, is a voracious eater, chomping away at everything. Hunie’s fish, 'Other Guppy' was not.

Guppy
Other Guppy I believe suffered a massive heart attack when I was making a particularly delicious version of Eaton Mess. Like his owner, he did not like the hand mixer and sadly, while we ate our dessert and drank our wines, Other Guppy, or Og as I called him, died. ‘He’ was actually a ‘she' but the boys were adamant on getting male fish which were ironically three times more expensive, so they unknowingly have girls.




Anyway, Nature-boy Tings, found Og dead the evening of the dinner party and without much ado, flushed him (her) away. It was a far cry from a Cosby-show fish funeral. This was all in stride for the Tings and his circle of life business but I did ask T to hold off on breaking the news to Hunie, who was asleep by this time.

The next morning, as Hunie was barely down the stairs, Tingu ran up to him and shouted ‘Other Guppy is dead!’.

Huns just looked at him with big eyes and Tingu showed him (rather excitedly) how he and B flushed him down the toilet. Still the Hunie was uncharacteristically quiet. Tingu added that he might not actually be dead but that like Nemo he faked it to escape and be with his Daddy. Huh, nice touch, Tingu.

Hunie still said nothing, shrugged his shoulders as he left the bathroom and inquired what was for breakfast. That was the end of that for little Mr. Snacks.

I shouldn’t be that surprised as really Hunie was not interested in getting fish – he had his heart set on a duck or elephant. He was quite annoyed to find the pet store carried neither, but his Maashi then showed him rescue puppies. Hunie LOVED the puppies.

And has since continued his love affair with dogs. He pets random dogs. He asks me to pet random dogs with him. He loves chasing little puppies around a house. He pretends to be the character of the dog in his books. It is all really very cute…. and nice that he will have a puppy….. in Asia…..at his Mashi & Masa’s house. Who knows... they may throw in a peacock too.



Thursday, July 12, 2012

The Gentlemen of Socca

The title is not a typo. It is a call for you to join the movement to universally name the sport soccer. If you have the misfortune of telling me about European football, I may very well subject you to the complete etymology of the word. I almost as passionate about calling it soccer as I am about the Portuguese team! Very Serious.



For many years, B has been anxiously awaiting the day he could coach Ting’s soccer team. This year was the year!



The Shoes

It started with the shoes. The minute B, told me he signed up Tings, I was on a quest to find some bad*&# cleats. I really do not want my children to be shopaholics however week after week, I continue to set a lousy example of minimalist living. Anyway, I found a pair of shiny, baby blue cleats with fire up the sides. Much to my chagrin, this was vetoed by Mr. All-Cool-Things-Are-Red. So bright red cleats it was. Given that most of the other kids were in normal running shoes, thinking that he may actually use the cleats on his shoes for competitive advantage was overly optimistic. I can however justify the cost in terms of the price of safety as I could spot him in that shoe/sock combo from a mile away!





The ‘Zig-Zag’ Run

Tingu would do this crisscross run shooting from side to side that had me completely miffed as to what he was doing. The guy could really run quite fast in a straight line but the zig-zag always had him trailing the pack.


At a break I finally asked what the ‘zig zag’ was about and he noted that was so the other team couldn’t get the ball. The problem was he never had the ball to begin with I can only conclude he thought that move was a repellent of sorts. I would have corrected him but it made for good videos. Carry-On Tings!!



Keep note : The zig-zag run is also effective when running away from erupting volcanos - see below:





 Snacks

Huns quickly found out that snacks were handed out post game – and the stuff that we never get at home like CapriSun and personal Cheese-its packets. A blatant case of nepotism on the playing field ensured he got the prized leftovers. At the end of each game, he would run over and stand on the sidelines until he could squeeze his way in for the goodies.

The dejected look above is becuase he found out half time did not equal snack time



The Game

Well, watching the game, was like watching a smarm of bees fly around – amusing for a while and then my attention span, like the Hunsters wandered so we ran off to the playground.



Hunie was always getting picked up by bigger kids at the playground. Once this lovely girl, who spoke fluent Spanish (only), figured Hunie was hers for the taking. She picked him up like a little stuffed bear and ran around the playground with him, pushed him on swings, played chase. He relished it. It was very cute. Until he had to leave. Then I had to explain to her he was actually mine. I attempted this in Spanish with sign-language (el nino – mine). Nevertheless, it did not go well, so I had pick Hunie up and run. Back to the soccer game …for snacks!




The REAL Game

Watching Euro2012 now really had meaning to the Tingu. Hunster was still just interested in the Snacks. Unfortunately even after wearing good-luck England shirts, the team lost in a overtime shoot-out (“So Yame” - Hunie). Here was Tings in the last minutes of the game:



"In his life, a man can change wives, political parties or religions but cannot change his favorite football (soccer!) team." Eduardo Galleano.

Choose Well!



Thursday, July 5, 2012

SummerTime


(If your bandwidth can handle it, listen above!)

 

Summertime and the livin' is easy


Nani’s here and she’ll buy you ice-cream

Oh, Nana says he’ll dump what you don’t want

But Maashi knows he’s just eatin’ everything….


Oh, your Daddy’s happy

Have you ever seen more perfect water in Florida?

 And your Mamma loves bling

Chubbs blinded by my sparkly tunic. I think she loves it.

So smile little Hunie

Maashi feeding Hunie - neither knowing when to stop!

Don’t you cry


One of these mornings you're gonna rise up singing

Just not this morning - these boys look well done! 

And you'll spread your wings and you'll take to the sky

Nope, no flying today.

  But till that morning, there ain't nothin' can harm you 


Except one of these loving individuals intent on launching you somewhere.


With daddy and mommy standin' by

We definitely are much better at sitting as opposed to standing on these yolo boards!


Summertime and the livin' should be easy

Glum looks pre-lunch!

But my tea was never made right

Sorry Smaashi, circumstantial evidence has you closest to this pot of tea.

So I had to drink some 'turtle sake'

Sober individuals misinterpreted this sign as the highly coveted Japanese turtle sake!

And then the world was feelin’ alright

Feeling especially victorious after launching that sand ball!

 One of these mornings you're gonna rise up singing

Lake view from the upstairs loft

And you'll spread your wings and you'll take to the sky

Hopefully you will have more adept enginners then the three of us - this vintage model went nowhere!


 But till that morning, there ain't nothin' can harm you

Hmmm another suspicious photo

 With Daddy, Mommy, Maashi, Smaashi, Nani, Nana, standin' by

C'mon it's the Indian version of things everyone gets credit!

 Summertime and the livin' is easy

 

Ice Cream’s callin’ my name once again

 

My pants fall down, but it don’t matter

 

I’ll just run around without anything     




Your Nana's Neptune



And your Nani’s a Card Shark

This kid needs no lessons on how to beat the House!

 So smile little Tingu

 


 Don’t you cry



                                                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Florida 2012~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~