Ebb, Trickle, and Flow..

Now that the weddings are over, the acquisition is done, and I have reached three star status on worlds 1&2 of Angry Birds, I can focus on weening my three year old off the pacie and diapers.

A couple of months ago, my sister admonished me about the latter, noting that Huns really ought to be potty trained by now and obviously I was working too much and missing out on key milestones in my childrens’ lives. At this rate, I would have wild feral children tromping through the woods.

Perhaps she is onto something...

Truth of the matter was, I had been trying to get Hunie potty trained for a year but not with much real effort aside from removing his trousers whenever he was at home. Thus a ¼ of my pictures over the last year look like this:

business on top, party on the bottom…?

In retrospect, I wonder what the heck I was thinking. From the Hunster’s perspective, trousers, and other articles of clothing, are so irrelevant to the equation and yet such a visible marker to other adults. Maybe I was hoping a super-nanny type would swoop down, see my trouser-less child, immediately realize he was ready for potty training, take him to an warm inverse fairy-tale like beach locale (so his bum wouldn’t get cold and where 1 month over there would be 5 minutes in the human world) and bring him back…..trained!

No such luck and in fact we found out that Hunie would be detained in preschool if he could not master the toilet by 12/31/11. Instead of advancing to the Toddler Discoverer curriculum it would be Toddler Travelers and the baby playground forever … oh Hunie! So B and I came up with a strategy.

We decided to incentivize him with M&Ms – brightly colored, easily stored, high levels of chocolate gratification in small quantizes, low cost per piece, minimal impact to baby teeth and the final kicker – the blue dye is linked to reducing spinal cord injuries. We would place the M&Ms in a clear jar in the bathroom and take him every 30 minutes. 1 M&M per successful flush. A win-win for all.


We believe in insurance

Fall of the Management Consultants : Huns wouldn’t take the bait. So I added reading books, on the toilet, to the list. This started turning into story time in the bathroom – yuck. His teachers took him to the big kid playground to show him his new digs if he would relinquish the diaper. Nada. Enthralled by the toys but still adamantly refusing to utilize the toilet.

The Hunster fought back mightily.

In desperation, I made him start smelling the M&Ms. He would inhale deep breaths, wince and turn his head away. I would make him smell it again and again and again. Finally I could see his resolve being to crumble. Yes! More deep breaths of M&Ms. His willpower was shaken! Aha! I could see the longing in his eyes. He asked to touch them but that was forbidden.....until a flush was necessary.

I am happy to note success soon followed however in Freak-o-nomic terms we have been gamed. Three M&Ms were demanded and as a first time treat, I acquiesced. Never acquiesce. Once the dam is broken, it is done. Marginal cost economic scale broken on both emotional and physical levels.

Hunie now goes to the bathroom and flushes every 5 minutes looking to be rewarded with his obligatory 3 M&Ms.

Furthermore, his agent/broker, Tings, also demands a cut for each time his brother goes.

Living the high life. This little dude, in all seriousness, would call the attendants from the stall in fancy hotels in India to come flush the toilet. Serious. Oh and Grandparents, that band aid is for dramatic impact only. Nobody was dropped on their heads.



Conclusions - Invest in M&Ms and good toothpaste – I don’t see this ending anytime soon.





Singsong Hum of the Free-Range Mother

Often times, I find myself defending our decision not to enroll the kids in weekend classes. The picture below sums up why, at this point,  I don't subscribe to the drill:


If my kids faces look like this on the weekends and without having to adhere to someone else's schedule, I am happy.

I have no problem channeling the Tiger Mom and do try to put forth effort to hopefully foster high achievers, but at this point, I feel like ad hoc exploring and discussing the endless 'whys' are a good balance to the rest of the rather structured week.  There must be some proverb discussing the need to balance your inner-Tiger to your inner-Gaint Panda.  

Odd animal analogies aside, I fully heard my parenting judgement being questioned at the park as I let Tingu and Hunie completely explore an enormous puddle next to the playground.

It's been raining in Georgia. A lot:

Untitled from burnbright on Vimeo.

We love puddles. Admittedly, even I was pretty excited to see this massive expanse of mud and water. This was not the first time we have completely changed courses and nixed plans to enjoy great puddles. My husband rather perfectly selected the Indiana Jones Box set for my birthday gift and more and more routinely I find myself contemplating, What would Indiana Jones do if....... (fill in the blank). Rather ironically, I am still trying to formulate the right question to justify the solution below but any answer that was this much fun surely could not have been that wrong!

Tings perfecting his butterly stoke in 6 inches of puddle sludge

Even in a puddle his hair looks cool!

That look on his face will remind me to do more puddles, buy less toys!

Tingers loved the wipe-out move!

Slugs and snails and puppy dog tails...!

So this is pretty much what we did this chilly morning. Incredibly, I had clothes to change the children into after their little foray, albeit that Tings is wearing a pair of 6 month old trousers as shorts...

Hunie caught sight of another puddle on the way out and as we had nowhere to go we stopped for that too!

At Ting's suggestion we had a picnic on the bottom deck. We don't frequent that level of the house very often as it is not finished, but I love the view.

And then, the other reason why I don't do weekend classes, is the gang of kids in our neighborhood. I can only imagine the arm twisting, but my neighbor had her husband dressed up as the Easter Bunny for an impromtu pre Easter egg hunt. Yes, yes, so American to celebrate Easter 3 times before Easter Sunday but also such fun! Honestly, they have this giant bunny head hidden 11.5  months of the year in their basement:

Huns is equipped with a tennis racket, undoubtedly to beat the others in case they don't bequeth the desired number of Easter eggs to his Hunieness..

So free range weekends very nicely fit our mold these days. I will 'tiger mom' my kids Monday through Friday with the goal that they figure out the equation to have lots of time to do what they want when they want to. Prepare, Focus...be free!

Hello Persephone

Spring is here and there is no better way, in our household, then celebrating with some margaritas & dinner on a patio! So after an afternoon of bouncy castles, that is precisely what we did (albeit at 4pm!).

We took the kids, two on two, to the restaurant and  low and behold...SUCCESS! We had a lovely relaxed meal without even the slightest hint of receiving a public nuisance citation. Forget first steps, first teeth, or even first words, this friends, was a noteworthy milestone in parenting !

Hunie with a box of tortillas on his head, as you do.



The way to this boy's heart is through his stomach! As responsible parents. B goaded him into selecting that towering Sundae, I am sure if  either set of grandfathers had been there we would have bought the whole cart....

The weekend of firsts did not end there, as the kids clamored for popsicles from the ice cream truck. That familiar music brought back many summer memories of dancing and playing outside. Our ears were expertly trained to detect even the faintest strains of the magical piped piper music of the ice cream truck and it sent us all running down the street in eager anticipation of delicious sweets that undoubtedly ruined dinner! Ok, fine I didn't think that at the time, but really why does the ice cream truck show up at 5:30pm??! This grandma must be on a mission to spoil all children!

The big kids made it first, the littles were still trying to figure out what the heck was going on to cause such mass pandemonium.

Sweet, little JM victim to the girls (!), Tings loving his spider man 'pops' and Huns, somehow aptly, going for the pink panther...

Rather inappropriately and probably inaccurately, I associate Lent with Mardi Gras with New Orleans with complete debauchery. Thus when Tings doned gold beads, a puma sweatsuit and then pimped it out in the Escalade right after Mardi Gras, I found it rather funny and fitting (at least into my version of Religion 101!)

The Hunster was a mess jumping in and out of the Escalade. The lack of photos is simply due to the fact I was running after the car either trying to keep Huns from jumping out or in (Dukes of Hazard style - ie. over the door while in motion!).

Hunie free-styling on the Barbie bike.

and with that, I am out. Carry on, Spring!

Karma, Fate & Murphy's Law

Having no perspective whatsoever on typical 4 year old topics of conversation, I find Tingu very interested in the metaphysical...for a little kid.

Three Year Old Class Photo

Since the age of 3, he has gone through these periods of rather intensely focused questions on God, dying, the state of the after-life and being born. At first I was mildly amused and surprised then I got a little freaked out as I wondered if he knew or perceived something I didn't and now I've come to hope it is part of his normal inquisitiveness! As neither B nor I consider ourselves religious or for that matter, terribly interested in the after-life, giving appropriate answers can be challenging.....

Some time ago, we were reading a story on tigers and Tings wanted to know if God was in the tiger.  So, I told him yes and that I believe 'God' is in every living thing....
Tingu (amazed): 'So God is in the tiger?!'
Me (apprehensively) : 'Yes'
Tingu: 'Where?'
Me (pointing to Ting's heart): 'He lives in there'.
Tingu (incredulous): 'How did he get in there?'
Me: 'That is the mystery. No one really knows, sweetie.'
Tingu: 'I know! He must have slid in through the tail' (swooshing his hand as he speaks)
Me (laughing, which was annoying Tings): 'That's as good a theory as I've heard'

so I quickly turn the page and come to the penguins. The questions persist:

Tingu: 'How did God get in the penguins?'
Me: 'Your theories are better than mine, what do you think?'
Tingu: ' Oh, I know. He slid into them down the iceberg'
Me: 'Sounds like fun, huh?'
Tingu: 'Yeah, that is what he did, Mom.'

I had spent what seemed like an eternity after bath time making a mess out of explaining how he had been born. Unbeknownest to me, B had told Tingu that we picked him up from a snow drift and that he was a winter baby.

The 'winter baby' wrapped in a blanket from NaniMaashi Koki & laying on a blanket knitted by my mother for me.

This from the man, who in general, suffers from extreme honesty complex :  He gives every living person no matter how big or small, cold, hard truth almost regardless of consequence. Personally, I like the idea of a little magic in the whole living/dying debate. So when I heard of the snow drifts, I went with it but I had also been giving Tingu the lowdown on hospitals and tummies. This resulted in a very bizarre conversation:
   
    'Was I naked in the snow drift?'  
            Yes
     'Wasn't I cold?'
           'Actually you had a special blanket'
     'What color was it?'
          'Red, as that is your favorite'
    'Actually, my favorite is now rainbow.'
         'Oh well, your special blanket was red'
    'Can I see it?'
         'It disintegrated, it was special'
    'Oh...so how did I get from the snow drift to the hospital?
         'Uh, you were in my tummy first'
    'How did I get from the snow drift to your tummy?'
         'Do you want some milk tonight?'
    'Did you or daddy find me in the snow drift?'
         'Both of us'
    'So I was just lying in the snow and when you went for a walk you found me?'
          'Yes'
    'So I went from the snow drift to your tummy to the hospital?'
         'Yes' ( I could tell he was confused about this but I gave a strong Yes to the question!)
     'Did I have my blanket in your tummy?'
          'No, my tummy kept you warm.'
     'Did I have toys in your tummy?'
         'Not that I know of..'
    'What did I do?'
        'You grew toes and body parts and your brian'
    'How big is my brain?'
        'About the size of a grapefruit'
    'Oh, like a Giganotosaurus ?'
        'Exactly. Well, actually, perhaps a bit smaller, but you're still growing'
    'Yeah, I want to be smart like Troodon'
         'I am sure you will be, Sweetie'
    'So was Hunie also found in a snow drift because his birthday is 1 week after  mine'
         Yes, but I'll tell you his story tomorrow. Go pick out a book for bedtime.'
    'Can I pick any book?'
          'Yeah, sure' (distracted relief on ending that mess of a conversation)
     'Yippee!' I want to read my (98 pg) animal encyclopedia (that I have memorized favorites parts so you can't skip around).

Yes, Mr. Happy, is super happy when he gets to pick out an encyclopedic volume of animal facts to read all night.

 That lead to the earlier section of this blog! Seriously, I do feel so lucky to be the mom of a kid like Tings but there is really no downtime. You have to be 100%. There. With Him. because when you are not, he knows. After work, I was singing a raucous version of Yankee Doddle Dandy to Hunie at dinner and having a grand 'ol time of it.

Tingu: Excuse me, Mommy, was Yankee Doddle a man or boy?
Me: I suppose he was a man
Tingu: So why was he riding a pony?

At one point in my life, I wanted to get a doctorate in theology...I think after raising the Tings it will be a piece of cake.

Releasing a ladybug into the 'wild'.

    In other news, Hunie packs himself off to the beach.....

This kid has stolen all our hearts with his crazy little antics. Stay tuned for the Hun-dawg concert to be posted next blog! 

Quickies

I have come to the realization that my blogging is going to have to start following my travel philosophy...quick little snippets when you have time! London in a fortnight, San Sebastian in 3 days and a Christmas recap in an hour! Even as I am writing that, my lip is curling at the thought - I am going to have the luxury of time! 2013, baby, 2013!

There is still so much to catch up on but the good news is that as my professional life has gotten busier, my personal one has gotten somewhat easier as Tings suddenly decided that he is capable of 'sleeping teenager-style!' Currently, that is interpreted as putting himself to bed alone. For the record, as he, himself, set the precedent, he should abide by that interpretation, at least for the next 14 years! This is monumental progress! Parents, have hope!!

On the same note, as I thought I was pointing out some rather humorous aspects of a book we were reading together in bed, Tings leaned over, looked deep in my eyes, stroked my check and said with a faint, humoring smile, ' Go to bed, Mommy. Go to bed'  then he turned his back to me and curled up with his Diego book! Just like that, my little roommate kicked me out of the twin bed I have been sleeping in for a year in the nook of my bedroom. With my new found freedom, I found myself at the 24hr Kroger Marketplace, as you do in my neck of the woods, contemplating all the possibilities that can now fill my 8-11pm hour! It was a bit melancholy and exciting, kind of like when you are taking off from one loved city to a new one....

So while I have been enjoying my sleep (thank you, dear teenager) I also thought perhaps 7am-Hunie would cooperate. Alas, I woke up to a blurred image of this darting around my bed:

He was shouting 'Coppee? Mommy, coppee?' and it took me some time to realize it wasn't my horrid eyesight in the blinding morning light but rather florescent drool imparted by a green stamp pad Hunie decided to suck dry and then roll all over in my once-awesome, four-digit thread count sheets.

So while I now have stains reminiscent of a ghost-busting episode down the side of my bed, the quality of sleep is still wonderous and inviting and in fact beckoning me now!

Forecasting

So the weekend forecast was for more snow. It doesn't look like the forecasters were right this time though I was looking forward to the idea of being buffered against the world in our home, filled with my favorite comforts, on our little street, full of good people.

The view of the backyard from earlier this month

There is a different kind of storm brewing up outside now; one that I forecast will not allow me to stay buffered up inside, nice and comfortable.

The kids watching their parents slide down a 20 degree incline on a plastic dome that dead ends in 40 ft fur trees.

Day 1 - the boys were not loving the snow; B and I were crushed that ski trips may not be in the boys top ten lists.

Though, that is not a bad thing, as I often lament about too much comfort at this juncture in life. And that is not to sound ungrateful as I feel a combination of very good luck and good planning got us here; it doesn't feel right to be overly 'comfortable' right now. I mean that in a very Kundera-ish way - think 'unbearable lightness of being'. I need weight, I need calculated risk, to recognize the extents of our comforts.

So we took some risks and others were dropped on us, but I forecast the next decade to be one of steep trajectory in a number of roles in each of our lives. The hope is that we have built and will continue to maintain the strong foundations that will allow for rapid change.

It is only in going outside our comfort zones that we can truly, fully appreciate what we have inside; what we want inside.

The Tings, chilling after an intense morning of handwriting practice. He requested his teachers just call him 'Blank' so he wouldn't have to keep writing his name all over the place. We thought this was funny enough that he could call it quits for the rest of the day.

I think my lazy weekends at home are going to have to be placed on hold for a while. The blog may be hard to get to in the evenings. There will need to be more outsourcing of life. More shaving off of superfluous activities. I'll just have to be more organized, more efficient, more focused on what I really want.

When you know what to expect you can at least somewhat prepare yourself to deal with change. And since I love to analyze, refine, optimize, the next year looks like it will provide plenty of opportunities to do just that.
 

Day 4 - After a bit of pep talk, extra warm clothes and the promise of dog sledding with a team of Huskies, ice hotels and ski trips were back on the top ten list with gusto! The boys enjoyed lunch in the snow - complete with ice sculptures I forgot to photograph!



I'll be taking a lesson from the kids this year - venturing into new ground fearlessly. Though unlike the Huns, I'd like to think my fearless appearance comes from preparedness as opposed to straight-up ignorance of the consequences. However, I suppose that is one that only time will tell!

The is no terrain too extreme for stuntman Hunie

For now, all I can forecast is a blizzard of blogs as I try to get around to recapping Thansgiving to New Year's 2010 before the avalanche of work descends!

Snow

Prior to the holidays, as we were leaving a party, a friend’s mom reminded me, rather casually, not to forget to update my ‘end of the decade’ diary. End of the decade. The concept was interesting but the task would be monumental! I can barely get around to reminiscing about the last 8 weeks, let alone the last 10 years as I transitioned from single, grad student with a penchant for traveling to a wife and mother of two children in North Georgia (not to mention the other job outside the home!)

These jeans were definitely reminiscent of the earlier part of the decade!

I tried to carve out the time to really reflect on this change but whenever I did I found myself much more inclined to want to focus on the next 10 years instead of the last 10.

What I do remember is that I celebrated 2000 wearing something entirely too skimpy for the freezing Toronto weather as I rang in the new year with some of my best college buddies. In what seems like a symbolic closing of the circle, we welcomed 2011 with equally chilly weather, though the years have at least added wisdom to my clothing choices.

Huns still loving to eat just about all things non edible. The sock covered mitten hands don't seem to be any deterrent at all. The oposoable thumb is really quite arbitrary when it comes to Huns and food.

While we often contemplate moving, what I love, love,love about where we live is our neighbors. The kids had a blast rotating from house to house as we were snowed in for a historic 5 days!



The forced commune was wonderful  as we enjoyed lounging at each other's homes living off popcorn and hot coco, watching the guys pull snow stunts, Rockwellish full-family snow ball fights and chill evenings by the fireplace watching movies, sipping wine and being forced to slow down, laugh, enjoy.

Look at that camouflage in action!

The little munchkin looks like a character from Dr. Seuss

 I also came to the realization that Hunie (aka Baby Ringo)  really needed a haircut. You may laugh at the photo below but it takes a certain skill to be able to fashion your kids haircut into the wolverine! Just been corrected by my nerder half, that it is, in fact, the vulcan haircut - conveniently linked for your reference!

Sorry Hundo - I really was going for a straight line!

In contrast to the Hunie, Tings insists on going to the barbers where he charms the ladies and gets extra lollipops. He also has gotten into the habit of requesting cologne to be generously applied before leaving the home!


Tingu running away from the scene of Hunie's transformation! (ps. There is a reason why the Christmas decor is still up!!)

The rest of the days were spent pretty much like this though the midnight oil started to burn as the workload from the office piled up like the snow outside our windows.

That is not Tings sitting on a box of diapers but in fact an iceberg.

Note to 2011 future self: Spend more weeks like this.