Ebb, Trickle, and Flow..

Now that the weddings are over, the acquisition is done, and I have reached three star status on worlds 1&2 of Angry Birds, I can focus on weening my three year old off the pacie and diapers.

A couple of months ago, my sister admonished me about the latter, noting that Huns really ought to be potty trained by now and obviously I was working too much and missing out on key milestones in my childrens’ lives. At this rate, I would have wild feral children tromping through the woods.

Perhaps she is onto something...

Truth of the matter was, I had been trying to get Hunie potty trained for a year but not with much real effort aside from removing his trousers whenever he was at home. Thus a ¼ of my pictures over the last year look like this:

business on top, party on the bottom…?

In retrospect, I wonder what the heck I was thinking. From the Hunster’s perspective, trousers, and other articles of clothing, are so irrelevant to the equation and yet such a visible marker to other adults. Maybe I was hoping a super-nanny type would swoop down, see my trouser-less child, immediately realize he was ready for potty training, take him to an warm inverse fairy-tale like beach locale (so his bum wouldn’t get cold and where 1 month over there would be 5 minutes in the human world) and bring him back…..trained!

No such luck and in fact we found out that Hunie would be detained in preschool if he could not master the toilet by 12/31/11. Instead of advancing to the Toddler Discoverer curriculum it would be Toddler Travelers and the baby playground forever … oh Hunie! So B and I came up with a strategy.

We decided to incentivize him with M&Ms – brightly colored, easily stored, high levels of chocolate gratification in small quantizes, low cost per piece, minimal impact to baby teeth and the final kicker – the blue dye is linked to reducing spinal cord injuries. We would place the M&Ms in a clear jar in the bathroom and take him every 30 minutes. 1 M&M per successful flush. A win-win for all.


We believe in insurance

Fall of the Management Consultants : Huns wouldn’t take the bait. So I added reading books, on the toilet, to the list. This started turning into story time in the bathroom – yuck. His teachers took him to the big kid playground to show him his new digs if he would relinquish the diaper. Nada. Enthralled by the toys but still adamantly refusing to utilize the toilet.

The Hunster fought back mightily.

In desperation, I made him start smelling the M&Ms. He would inhale deep breaths, wince and turn his head away. I would make him smell it again and again and again. Finally I could see his resolve being to crumble. Yes! More deep breaths of M&Ms. His willpower was shaken! Aha! I could see the longing in his eyes. He asked to touch them but that was forbidden.....until a flush was necessary.

I am happy to note success soon followed however in Freak-o-nomic terms we have been gamed. Three M&Ms were demanded and as a first time treat, I acquiesced. Never acquiesce. Once the dam is broken, it is done. Marginal cost economic scale broken on both emotional and physical levels.

Hunie now goes to the bathroom and flushes every 5 minutes looking to be rewarded with his obligatory 3 M&Ms.

Furthermore, his agent/broker, Tings, also demands a cut for each time his brother goes.

Living the high life. This little dude, in all seriousness, would call the attendants from the stall in fancy hotels in India to come flush the toilet. Serious. Oh and Grandparents, that band aid is for dramatic impact only. Nobody was dropped on their heads.



Conclusions - Invest in M&Ms and good toothpaste – I don’t see this ending anytime soon.